Tayler simply could not overcome the power that opiates had over him.  I am not sure if his first encounter was the darvon or codeine he was prescribed for a painful leg injury he sustained or whether he first encountered opiates to get high.  What is for sure is that he eventually recognized that he was addicted and then tried like hell to get out of it.  Fighting this beast occupied nearly all of his time during the last year that he lived.  He tried cold turkey, inpatient detox, outpatient rehabilitation, counseling, narcotics anonymous and various support methods.  No matter what he did, the gravity of that drug relentlessly pulled at him like something awesomely evil. 

I recall a quote I read shortly after Tayler's death that hit me with such clarity it hurt.  The quote is in a book titled "Losing Jonathan" authored by Robert and Linda Waxler, parents who lost their son to heroin.  The quote is attributed to Zora Neale Hurtson and it goes like this;  "A man is up against a hard game when he has to die to beat it".  That is exactly how I feel about Tayler's addiction to heroin.      

At a young age, Tayler showed great interest in music.  He played piano, drums, guitar and liked to sing.  He took the greatest interest in guitar and in his early teens, he and I were strumming and singing tunes together.  Tayler was a quick study at just about everything, and this was true when it came to learning and performing songs. 

We began practicing with friends we knew played, and before long we started playing out.  Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Live, David Bowie, Bush, Bob Dylan, Led Zeppelin, Stone Temple Pilots, Tom Petty, Green Day and Grateful Dead.  Always Jerry Garcia and the Dead, his most favorite music.  We played at parties and various events, including four straight years at our town's annual "Old Home Day" celebration.  This was great. 

We'd bring our acoustic guitars when we went on our annual tenting trips to Rocky Neck State Park in East Lyme Connecticut.  I have many good memories of us playing for ourselves and others around the big campfire.  One of the more memorable acoustic outings for the two of us was playing at a children's Halloween celebration.  We played a number fun tunes such as House at Pooh Corner, Monster Mash and that Drunken Sailor song (maybe inappropriate, but the kids loved it).

We also played Open Mic night at a cafe in Ware Massachusetts called The Brewed Awakening.  That evening, the owner, Margaret, asked if we would put enough material together to play a gig.  We got booked for Friday night, August 1, 2003.  We began our gig with a couple of Grateful Dead tunes (Friend of the Devil and Mr. Charlie) and then moved on to our own lively, bluesy rendition of "Feelin Alright".  This is the most memorable; perhaps because it was the last time we played a gig with our acoustics.
 
In the weeks after his death, I set out to locate any recorded music of Tayler.  A friend of his (Tom Bacon) let us borrow a cassette tape of Tayler playing with his friend Alan in the spring of 2004.  I also found some cassette tapes of Tayler playing in one of our bands we named Beyond Reason and a tape he had made early in his teens.  My most exciting find was a beat up, dusty, plastic cracked cassette I had never heard and did not know existed.  I found it in our barn while going through his stuff.  What I heard when I popped into the cassette player, was very special for me.  It was a recording of perhaps two years ago (2002) of him playing his acoustic and singing.  The quality isn’t very good, but the recording truly captured his acoustic style and his voice.  It is invaluable to me.

I can still see him "flying" down the mountain side on his snowboard.  His face red from ripping into the cold wind.  As he got closer, you could see his grin, practically a mile wide.  His eyes bright and alive as they met the gleaming of the powerful ski resort night lights.  "Hey dad, what are you doing standing around.  Come on, let's get back to the top".

That was Tayler's thing, getting back to the top of whatever it was, so he could fly.  Whether it was a mountain side hill to speed the BMX down, or a ramp to ride that skateboard silly, he loved it.  He thrived on the adventure, the rush, the thrill. 

For a "white guy", he had a fantastic leap.  I will always remember the strength of his legs and his timing as he lifted to get to the basketball rim.  He was getting air.

His good balance, timing and leg strength, allowed him to excel on the trampoline.  Back flips, front flips, double twists, often with a skateboard (minus the wheels), strapped to his feet.  A marvel to watch his acrobatics.

These are significant memories for me.  Tayler, getting air.